


The sorrow of a smile

by mayusuki



Category: Persona 5, persona - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Or maybe I'm just a crybaby, This Is Sad, but its sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 22:39:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14030367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayusuki/pseuds/mayusuki
Summary: "If he had a palace it would probably be a maze.Not a Alice in Wonderland maze with pretty flowers and a bunny to guide you to the nonsense world.His maze would be the nonsense and sufferement in its own form, something black."





	The sorrow of a smile

**Author's Note:**

> I promised a cute Akeshu fic to @Galaxhime (on twitter) but turned out on this. Thank you for always fangirl with me! Also I'm so sorry Akechi! Jokings aside, I find something beautiful their relashionship and the destiny that tie Akechi and Akira, so I wanted to write about it. It turned out not really what I wanted but I kind of liked. Also english is not my first language and I hope you excuse me for any mistakes. The way of writing may be a little weird too, but was purposeful.

Akechi can’t help but everytime think why he couldn’t meet Akira in another circumstances, another time or even another life. It’s a common said that thinking about the “if’s” isn’t good for your mental health and make you trapped in the past, or a future that couldn’t happen. But wouldn’t you understand him if you were in his position? It’s so dramatic and shakespearean, to fall in love with the person you should kill. But it’s not only that, he wishes that at least he could be a true friend of the Phantom Thief. No, of Akira Kurusu. 

If that dear person wasn’t the famous Leader of the Phantom Thieves, Akechi could grasp that tiny possibility of being his friend. But he wouldn’t even met him if wasn’t for that strange destiny. He have to accept that if they weren’t the two chosen tricksters, their lifes wouldn’t have crossed. And that strange destiny is what could unite the two ends of the red thread between him and Akira. Is he being too selfish to think they have a red thread? It could been a black one for all that matter. Black for all the sufferemment both have to pass (much of Akira sufferement, his fault).  
Yes, it’s not healthy to think about that. That’s why he deceives himself and his feelings in that old cafe, saying that he have none.

Not only Akira, but everyone he made suffer, he doesn't regret it. It’s better to not regret.  
The princely kind boy with the impeccable brown suit tastes more of his coffee.  
Even when Akira is not there he feels a odd feeling that he can be himself and run from the world, run from this mess of a head. If he had a palace it would probably be a maze. Not a Alice in Wonderland maze with pretty flowers and a bunny to guide you to the nonsense world. His maze would be the nonsense and sufferement in its own form, something black. Guided probaby by that creature…  
One more sip of the coffee.

Even if it’s still comfortable without Akira, is getting hard to not think about that raven hair (raven, ha) and every confusing feeling that comes with him. It’s not bad, on the contrary. In a dreaming world without this sorrowful destiny, if Akechi really was the detective prince and have a romance with the cute student that showed up in one of his shows, his life would be that so called wonderland… 

The proper feeling of getting out of the train and at the station, see that black hair and sweet words everyday is something he can't describe... ‘I’m being so fake towards him, fake smile, fake eyes, disgusting’, is what he always think. But when he sees that smile and polite but raw honest words being directed to him, he can’t help it and his heart betray him. Feeling warm and like he could fly to the sky guided by the butterflies of his belly, ha, is something so cheesy. Not for him. 

If he reveal his true self, he would lose that smile and the bright grey eyes that the boy show to him. Everytime it happens, Akechi try to hide that ugly heart of his (a ugly heart that would lead him to his revenge and to the top), for many reasons.  
He hides it to trick the trickster himself, the Phantom Thief. He hides it to selfish win more smiles (disgusting). But maybe he also hides it for the Joker, the pierrot, the thief, don’t take the key to his heart. If Akira had it, he could open it so easily and reveal all the horrible and black things.  
He laughs.  
No, the thief already have the key that he is so desperately trying to take back.

Akechi rests his chin in the palm of his hand to look at the tv, but not doesn't pay attention. Why he is always there if everything remember him of the cute boy? He is so masochist.  
Now the boy is thinking about his first group of friends. Honestly, the Phantom Thieves were the first people he could call like that. But only if he deceives himself again to think he was really trying to be their friend. First of all, a friend don’t betray others, but he have no other reason to be with them, if not to betray. They aren’t the best people to be around and he understand. They aren’t really fond of him because of all the problems he had caused them. At least in public (If only they knew).

But there was a moment. At this point is really hard to distingue when he is being himself, but strange enough (or not), when he is with Akira, the person he wants to trick the most, sometimes, he feels like being himself. Just joking around. Some people say his jokes are lame. And he made a LOT of them while being Crow. He don’t know if it’s because he had to desperately fool the other thieves or if it’s because of Akira and his dumb ability to make him act like the fool himself. But in one of these moments, Akira, no, Joker, laughed. The others were looking bittery at him but Akira laughed. And not only once. Maybe three times (not that he was counting). But were moments so precious to him. Every sound of that laugh wanted to destroy a piece of the damn key.

There are always so many emotions inside him that he wanted to kill himself instead. But he don’t have any emotions, he don’t! So he doesn’t need to kill himself, only the person who made his life miserable, only the people who will lead him to it. And Akira.

He notice that the devil is at the tv making some discourse.  
Akechi will soon be famous, he will be the top of Tokyo and of the world!  
Haha  
He doesn’t notice his heart being destroyed when once more he wished he had meet Akira before.

The door opens with a cracked noise and he faintly hearts the bell at the top.  
“Akechi-san? You are crying?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked it! I'm a little nervous. Please drop a comment and a kudo if you liked. Maybe I turn this into a series of Akeshu drabbles (about feelings), because I already have some other ideas.  
> As a note: I really love this precious boy prince Goro ;;


End file.
